For sure today's going to be a blast. Having dinner with EX-secondary school people, going out for a cheap thrill experience with the usuals. I'm really looking forward to this weekend.

I'm so overwhelmed with what's ahead of me now. If I could just get a glimpse of what's in store for me for the next 20 years down the road, I would be grateful. As long I don't find out that I have something so bad going to happen to me. But that's not for real as long as I'm still not the Time Traveller, without the wife that is. Looking at how things' flowing right now, its getting a little bit out of tempo and melody. And of course I'm worry like a crazy horse. I'm not feeling it. Everything seems to get out of hand and beyond my control. And I have to just sit and suck my thumb through this. I tried hard to adapt to it but it seems impossible. Maybe its just something that doesn't suit me.

Nevertheless, on top of all these misery and sufferings, I still have lovely people around me. They are just enough to remedy everything now. I just have to prioritize everything back and again. And everything will be back on the right track, hopefully.

April is just around the corner and I'm so not looking forward to it for some reasons. Just go through the motion, baby. The motion.

Take care, people.

Workloads getting heavier. As I thought so much of the pressure passing by together with time, I was wrong. Now how should I get it right?

Next month going for a 1-month course. So not into it. Its far, waste of time and I only benefit the experience wise. I don't want experience. I want something so rewarding that I consider myself the lucky one. But for sure that's not going to happen. But what I can request now is to have more perks and advantages. Hope that will work. Better be.

Sorry not much of what I can update now. Dad's watching the television now and the volume is like the one in the movies. Can't focus on what I'm typing.

Take good care, people.

And again, after for so long I kept quiet, it happened. For once, I thought I was done with it. But now, I just cannot believe things turn back to its roots again. Whether it turns out well or not this time round, depend on the decisions I have to make. I learnt my lessons. I had enough. Please, all these feelings are making me feel so insecure as a person, a man. I should be more decisive, and not too laid back. People are stepping over my limits once in a while. Do I need help? Its an obvious. But who can? These thoughts and feelings are so conjoint with each other that it is too complicated even for Einstein to solve it.

I'm confused by it myself. At one time, I felt all these are a complete waste of time. But I simply cannot ignore these little things. I just have one aim; I don't want anything to change because of this. It happened once and we are so fucked up by it. And till today, I'm not sure whether we're suppose to be in talking terms or not. I regret it had to happened, but that's the past. I guess it was over, somehow. I guess. But now, it happen again.

What's my next move? I just want to let everything off my chest but its all a matter of time. Dear God, please assist me in this one.

This space will be revived again. Its been too long since the heart had its say. Too long.

Its been endless minutes, hours and days since everything was back to normal. Ignorant and attitude that really sucks big time. No one have imagine things to be turning around this way. I said so, 'cause some are just too weak to handle the truth, or even maybe the lie itself.

Pressured so much, until nothing was beyond the hold of something. Trapping people's feelings have never been a nice one for ages. Its for good we have battles and fights. Its just another session of exchanging opposite thoughts and comments. We do try to prevent it from happen. But 'till when you want to keep inside? Our body are not able to handle that much. We have our own mind controlling everything. And we use our Brain to decide what's right and what's not. But some lack this capability. Its either they don't practice enough, or they are simply dumb fuck. Get everything you need in this promise called Life, 'cause its all about decisions and some sympathy for others. Stop making promises if you can't control Life itself, 'cause too much promises may end up being hassle for you.

We tend to go for a hunt where we know the outcome might not be that necessary. Yes, the grass might be greener on the other side. But what's wrong with making full use of the grass on your side? Opportunity come and go. But we never know when exactly it comes and go. Do take full advantage of what we had earlier, and never use anything we never get later. Its all about time now. Some may win, others might make some great lost. I made some win and many lost. I guess that's how life roll about.

I'll never go find something that have been missing. Neither will I replace it. If it come back to where it should belong, then that is the thing we called Promise.

I never know when could all these end for once. Every time the hate just grow so much. Understanding more just make me lose more control over what I've should have been gaining. Everything seems to feel so wrong, and nothing else could have been a better one for me. But, I will never raise the flag and say that I've lose it all. I'm still holding to what people practice most of the time; Trust. Just don't make me change everything.

Showing off your guts never meant a single reason for me to be fear of you. Nevertheless, it makes me more interested in landing some justice onto you. In another word, you're just nothing rather than another Romeo in the making. Jealousy never plays a part in this. But its more of a reluctant act and disagreements. You could wonder a thousand years about what you going to do about this and other things. For me, I just need you to trigger everything and for instance, the changes shall take place. You might have created everything with your bare hands, but you forgot to use a little instrument called the Brain. This is what you might called a Gentleman's Game, but you playing it like my little brother playing with his toy truck.

Since you got tons of guts, why don't you share some with me and show what you made of? I'm not asking you for a fight. But I rather want to know whether that balls of yours are worth the courage you're showing. Come forward and speak to me. I'll be ready for any surprise that will be coming out of your mouth.

Opened mouth, closed eyes. You speak a wonder, but none meant a single thing. & I'm not impressed.

With sands in the throat, I took these days with saying out, "It's another beautiful day". Opportunities flying around, with endless encouragement to catch one of it. It's never been so impressive than ever; But I will still stay and wonder as much. 'Cause I'll never stop dreaming.

Impressive, addictive as ever. Who ever told our needs could be so deadly? Keeping up with the fast pace of conversations, taking every risk just to hold to a promise called Life. Every turn at every corner, behold of something or someone you endured or embraced with. Something where taking chances means creating abundant of choices to play around with. Choose the right one, and the track will lead you. Choose the wrong one, and decide what's next for you. I'll say we keep trying passionately and with beliefs. 'Cause till now, no one knows the exact power of dreaming.

With a little tinge of red all over me. I've becoming more thoughtful as ever. Not to praise oneself, but the oppositions will never agree with the ideas I've came out with. The opposite; It has a reason of its own. Lies, cheats and everything that goes well with it. I paid the price for everything that I've done. Now, its time for everything to turn around. Its never easy, but difficulty is just another level. People just have to be a bit more aware of what's happening and to have better brains. Then will only realisations comes along. Don't forget about regret. It always comes in a package.

& if I do, I'll skip the regret part. 'Cause some are just too heartless.